33 Hard Lessons Grief Taught Me

Grief taught me . . .

1. We have to choose every day, to see the positive to be grateful for all we had and what we lost and how loved we were.
   
2. That the world continues to move forward around you, and that is okay. You can still find ways to honour the dead in your life. We don’t have to move forward as if our grief isn’t valid or doesn’t exist. We can learn to move forward with our grief and maintaining a new relationship with the dead.
   
3. I’ve found during my 5 months of grieving for my mom that I’m alone once again and I don’t want to be alone. Having to accept that is the hardest lesson I’ve learned so far. 
   
4. The amount of time for grieving is always! You just do the best you can.
   
5. That the friends and family you thought would always be around, continue with their life as if nothing had happened and distance themselves.
   
6. I have learned that grief and joy can co-exist.
   
7. After losing my mom, I learned to take life slowly to cope with the loss.
   
8. I’ve learned that there are some losses I will never stop grieving.
   
9. I lost my Mom, who was my best friend and she is never coming back.
   
10. I’ve learned that I don’t have my best friend anymore to share those special stories, photos & videos of my kids and grandchildren. That she was the only one that never got tired of hearing the same stories and enjoyed looking at the photos over and over again.
    
11. One of the hardest grief lessons I’ve learned is that not everyone grieves the same.
    
12. The hardest lesson I have learned is how much survivor’s guilt comes with continuing to live.
    
13. I learned that the real challenge is to simply to go on & do something positive with your new life. Minute by minute you can carve out joy & purpose. Start by doing for others.
    
14. The hardest grief lesson I’ve learned is that my life would be so completely different after my Mom died. The changes aren’t all bad, my life just feels so unfamiliar sometimes.
    
15. That life goes on.
    
16. I have learned it is such a struggle to have “fun” & be “happy”…have some elements of “joy” now & again…but it’s hard to fake “happy.”
    
17. There’s no timeline and certainly no right or wrong way to grieve. Your loss is tremendous. You’re doing great just to put one foot in front of the other and keep moving. Keep talking about them. Keep remembering the joy they brought. You have a gift to share…just as they did.
    
18.  Someone said to me once there is no getting over it; you just learn to live with it.
    
19. I remember that the loss equals the love, that helps me when I feel low.
    
20. The hardest grief lesson I have learned is that to carry on is hard, but we need to create a new normal.
    
21. I’ve learned that I have to go on living without my Mom. I knew one day she would be gone but I really had NO idea how hard it would be.
     
22. That love continues after death and that my Mom is still teaching me how to live even though she is no longer here physically.
    
23. One of the hardest grief lessons I’ve learned is that death is as close as a breath. One exhale could be our last.
    
24. I have learned that grief takes time and everyone is on their own time frame.
    
25. I’ve learned it’s ok to cry…and cry again, never apologize.
    
26. The hardest lesson I have learned is how to cope with regret – of the missed and wasted opportunities that come after the loss.
    
27. The hardest lesson I have learned is that grief means not feeling like myself anymore.
    
28. It has been very hard to learn to hold in my heart both my gratefulness of having had her, and realizing she is in a better place, not suffering any more.
    
29. There are so many hard grief lessons. The hardest was learning I could part with places and things but keep the memories.
    
30. Grief is seen as embarrassing and weak. Few people understand that time, gentleness and kindness are the things that should be offered to the bereaved.
    
31. There are secondary losses too and these are huge: purpose, drive and motivation, memory comprehension, strength, etc.
    
32. That EVERYTHING has changed forever.
    
33. These two reflections written by David Kessler,  one of the most well-known experts on grief and loss today, are helping me now to overcome the sadness and loneliness I have felt after losing my Mom:
    
    
    “We sometimes forget the depth of connection we have with our parents. They are often our main connection in the world and to the world. Even if we have a loving spouse, children and many close friends, the death of a parent means the loss of one of our first and most important connections. The misconception that a mature and capable adult will not need to grieve their parent can cause the bereaved to feel even more alone, as their grief goes unrecognized.”
    
    “The death of a parent delivers us to a world we have thought about but couldn’t actually fully prepare for. We are suddenly exploring new terrain, feeling rootless or as if the ground has been pulled out from under us. And in a symbolic way, it really has been.”
    
    
    
    SOURCE: whatsyourgrief.com